Written by Rodd Justice
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Friday, 9 November 2001

image for Propaganda 'Missing Point'
You make my family eat pork, you pigs!

American propaganda drops over Afghanistan have not been effective in winning over the Taliban orientated population, because they have been "missing the point".

Leaflets have been dropped, but the content has not appealed to Afghans, including a promise of 10' fewer horrific atrocities after surrendering to the USA.

The leaflets being dropped by the Americans show an ignorance of Afghanistan. One leaflet dropped by the Americans was redeemable at Disneyland in Los Angeles, which is a ridiculous idea, especially as Disneyland Paris is much more accessible to the Afghans. A British leaflet had information on Darius' progress in "Pop Idol", but they messed up! "Pop Idol" is shown two weeks later in Afghanistan, so the surprise of Darius' cheezey return was spoiled by the propaganda.

The food drops over Afghanistan are also insensitive to the religious beliefs of the Islamic population. One batch of food parcels included pork, bacon, trotters, curly tails and some cute little pink piggie sweets for the kids to eat when they watch the free video of "Babe", which will be dropped next week.

As a gesture of support, planes have dropped copies of the Qu'oran, but this has had its problems too, as Book Physics expert Dr Jingle Advert explains. "The Americans have been dropping the chunkiest version of the book, so that it turns into a most lethal weapon from 20,000 feet. I mean, I knew that President Bush was going to throw the book at the Taliban, but this is ridiculous!"

Aware of the state of the refugee crisis in Afghanistan, there have been drops of humans to help. General Swift Clapper of the USAF explains, "all the trailer park trash the Army rejected is being dropped over Afghanistan. This is to alleviate the refugee problem, which has left many houses empty in Afghan cities. Hopefully, they can live there, and fill the place up a bit."

A bold effort, but sources in Afghanistan report a 9,000' rise in cousin-to-cousin marriages, a 20,000' rise in banjo, and an unbelievable 155,000,000' rise in wheel-based accommodations. All because of the air drop of miscellaneous yokels and rednecks, outside of their natural habitat.

The airdrops from the USA are about as welcome to Afghans as the airdrops you get from birds. Rodd says, "let's put a short sharp stop to this dumb policy".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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