Vatican City--Pope Benedict XVI decreed today that using the online search engine Google for pleasure was sinful, and was akin to adultery. Catholics should stop the practice immediately.
Googling news and information is a venal sin and can stop someone from going to Heaven, said the pontiff. Googling yourself is much worse and is a mortal sin.
"Googling yourself is a type of Onanism. Idle hands are the devil's workshop." said Pope Benedict. "Nothing good ever comes from it. As soon as you satisfy the googling urge it just comes right back in a day or two. Best to stop the nasty, shameful habit completely." said the pope.