Written by Linguini
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Topics: Olympics, Lesbian

Tuesday, 18 May 2004

image for Gay-Lesbian Alliance Angrily Condemns New Olympic Committee Rules Approving Transsexual Athletes
Rosie O'D says that "What the World Needs Now, is . . . "

5-18-04 - In the wake of the International Olympic Committee's recent approval of transsexuals being permitted to participate in the Olympics this August in Athens, the American Gay & Lesbian Alliance has "come out" strongly against such approval, condemning it as "hormonally bigoted and really bad, too!"

When asked to explain the Alliance's anger over the Olympic Committee's newly permissive sexual policy, its Openly Lesbian Chief Financial Officer, Jennifer Dyke Kowski, exclaimed that the new Olympic Policy "would encourage our prime athletic brothers & sisters to use their money to undergo sex change operations in the hope of attaining Olympic Glory in Greece this summer rather than making their customary donations to the G&L Alliance," which "could lower our bond rating and thereby bankrupt us into chapter 11!"

Dyke Kowski lamented that "the Alliance could lose its most athletic demonstration protestors to the scalpel," and that "Athens will be a very strange-looking place this summer, even for me!"

Presidential hopeful, John Kerry, when asked, "Which side of the fence are you're on, - for the transsexuals or the gays & lesbians?", replied "Well, for both. I respect all of their positions, - er, I mean, viewpoints!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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