Written by Monkey Woods
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Sunday, 22 June 2008

image for Zimbabwe Election Results In One Week Early
A white voter reads the results of next week's poll

There was no repeat of the debacle in the first Zimbabwe election today, as the result of the run-off between Robert Mugabe's Zanu PF party and the opposition MDC party of Morgan Tsvangirai, was announced one week ahead of schedule.

The voting, which doesn't start until next Friday, was expected to take around four days of counting before a result was announced, but the ruling party has really got its act together this time, and announced that Zanu PF had won a landslide victory.

Mugabe, whose name spelt backwards is Ebagum, celebrated by closing the country's borders and ordering everyone indoors, even if the ramshackle huts the dictator has left them with, don't have any doors.

Members of the international community were in uproar at, what they say, is scandalous behaviour, but they are unlikely to intervene or to take any action as there is absolutely no oil in Zimbabwe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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