Written by IN SEINE
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Saturday, 21 June 2008

image for Allah faces virgin shortage
IOU 72?

With the promise of 72 virgins for each Martyr to Islam, the god, Allah, has seemingly got his sums mixed up. It is rumoured that at such a rate, the amount of pure and chaste ladies in stock will run out by mid-August and suicide bombers will have to reconsider.

A passer by told In Seine News;

"We simply cannot give that guarantee anymore because we would be making our god out to be a liar. We have already been inundated by more than 10,000 'Infidel Slayers' which has almost depleted our entire stock of 80,000 virgins who are all waiting for the Muslim Heroes to enter paradise."

"You see, all the virgins have to be dead already to qualify because a virgin could be violated whilst she is living. Besides we need a certain amount to give birth to future Muslims to ensure that more Martyrs are born. That is why the mortality rate in young girls is proportionately higher amongst the female sex than in men. The more girls who die before having sex, the greater our supply of virgins!"

"As from August we shall have to ask 'wannabe' Martyrs if they would die for the cause without the promise - at least for the next twenty years! I'm sure that Allah can come up with an even better incentive soon. I hope he doesn't do IOUs or some virgin-sharing scheme."

British tycoon, Sir Richard Branson, has more than 72 Virgin companies, but he is NOT a Muslim.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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