Written by queen mudder
Print this

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

image for Vatican shielding monster Fritzl's twin brother
"Sure it's an arsehole of a place to work in, but what the hell?"

Vatican City - (Goddawful Mess): A papal adviser on family planning issues is being shielded by Vatican spooks after being exposed as Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's long lost secret twin brother.

Adolf Fritzl, 69, has lived in Rome's famous subterranean catacombs under St Peters for over a decade where he runs the pontifical orifice on birth control.

"Sure it's an arsehole of a place to work in, but what the hell?" are his only known comments on the bleak working conditions beneath Rome's Via Dolorosa.

Fritzl's six figure annual salary is paid by a group of Opus Dei-rivaling nutters called the Sacred Military Constantinian Order of St George (as in Bush).

Formerly a captain in the Swiss Guards Fritzl mark #2 writes Holy Family-themed papal homilies and advises on the image makeovers during papal foreign trips.

A twin of the fascist Grail Movement doomsday cult prophet currently in custody for imprisoning his daughter for 24 years and gorging hinself off her fecundity, Adolf Fritzl has never been married or produced issue.

"There is no truth in the rumors that an old Nazi tunnel directly connects the Vatican with Amstetten in Austria," Fritzl insisted to reporters today.

Pope Joseph Ratzinger is bonkers.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

8 3 15 9
60 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more