Written by Michael Ducky

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Topics: Wales, Welsh

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

image for Welsh assembly decries lack of popular stereotypes
blue ribbon panel promotes Narcolepsy as a new Welsh Stereotype

Cardiff (Faux News) - Walk into any city in America and mention the Irish, you'll get an easy dozen jokes about drinking. Mention the English and a discussion of bad teeth ensues. Mention the Scottish and people will visualize kilts and the angry school janitor on 'The Simpsons'. Mention the Welsh and you will only get a blank expression.

This gets Collin Tewdyn of the assembly's ire, "Bad publicity is better than no publicity... if getting the American public to believe a crass generalization of our people represents 'everyone' actually translates to hotel revenues then I say lets get drunken stupid, ugly, or rude like the French!"

Tewdyn has in fact launched a blue ribbon panel to find suitable ethnic slurs, generalizations and biases about the Welsh. We sat in on the test marketing campaign for a bumper crop of new Welsh jokes:

    "K: Knock knock"
    "Q: Who's there?"
    "K: A Welshman..."
    "Q: Go away!"

    "Q: What do Welsh school children ask from Santa?"
    "A: A new shovel"

The assembly has also launched a T-shirt campaign as a retort to the popular 'Kiss me, I'm Irish' T-shirt. The Welsh response shirt simply reads 'Screw you, I'm Welsh!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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