Written by Midgetgems
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Topics: Language, Nintendo

Thursday, 12 June 2008

image for Nintendo saves the verb
Hirohito carded verbs using alcohol and divination

Verbs, those 'doing words' shunned by couch potatoes and politicians alike, have been rescued from extinction by the advent of the Nintendo Wii (or Wi-aye as they are known in Newcastle).

Invented in 845 B.C. by Emperor Hirohito in the wee small hours of the morning, verbs became known for their healing properties and flourished up until the 1990's when some irritating eejit football commentator decided to blend his own evil concoction of adjectives and nouns to create a monster. The Intransgender Verb was born and indigenous verbs became overrun by freely sprouting alien hybrids such as 'to be red carded'.

Combined with a vigorous AIDS pandemic, verbs fell into disrepute until linguist St Nelly Furtado arrived to sing 'Say it Right!' and lo, the world did awake as though from her enchanted slumber. And what joy didst follow with people quothing "Wheee!" and verily THROWING and PUNCHING and BOWLING and GOLFING ...

Well there's still some way to go, but mark my words, verbs are back!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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