In a desperate bid to justify the war in Iraq and improve his rating in the polls, President George W. Bush put together a sure fire plan to resolve the matter of the missing WMD and hired Indiana Jones to find the missing items.
President Bush said that "negotiations were difficult and the terms unusual, but I have brokered a deal that will please the free world, protect democracy. give hope to the hopeless and so forth and no doubt deliver what we have known for some time which is Saddam Hussein was is in possession of WMD's".
In a pre-prepared speech, the President outlined the terms of the agreement, a clearly delighted George W. Bush went on the say;
"we have come to an arrangement with Mr Jones via his personal manager, a Mr Spielberg, to search and find WMD's in Iraq and I have to say that finding Indiana was real tough, well done the CIA, good job".
We have summarised the Presidents 'deal' with Mr Spielberg for brevity;
1. Cost of the project will be minimum $100m and no more than $150m if over budget.
2. Time for completing the project will be 6 months with a further 4 months for preparation work before general release.
3. Indiana Jones must not be killed.
4. One attractive female to accompany Mr Jones.
5. No Snakes.
6. Personal chef for Mr Jones to meet his specific dietary needs
7. All expenses to be paid no later than 2 weeks after submitting appropriate forms with signatures.
8. At least one Joke where Mr Jones shoots a man or men with knives (again).
9. Search for WMD's in Iraq to be conducted in New Zealand to take advantage of favourable exchange rates.
In closing, The president went on the say; "I wont pretend to understand the legal technicalities of this contract, I'm only the President, but I do know this, I have every confidence in Mr Jones and although his requirements may seem eccentric, I am sure he'll do a good job and make America proud, God bless and God speed Mr Jones".