Written by Trevortni
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Friday, 30 May 2008

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Osama bin Laden: Terrorist or Funnyman?

Osama bin Laden has recently released a new video, though the mood of this latest has a mood far different from any of his previous ones. Apparently, the terrorist attacks on 9/11 were only meant as a practical joke.

Sources at the United States State Department report that the notorious terrorist leader begins his address standing up, but by the middle of the video, he is actually physically ROTFL (Rolling On The Floor Laughing). It seems that at one point he was laughing so hard his heart actually stopped, and he had to be revived by a paramedic terrorist who had been standing by with a defribillator for just such a case.

Transcripts of the video have yet to be officially released, but snippets delivered to us in a plain brown paper bag include such statements as "You Americans are so touchy!" "You should have seen the looks on your faces!" and "Why do you always take these things so seriously?"

After being revived from his near-fatal laugh attack, bin Laden went on to explain that, prior to 9/11, top terrorist leaders had narrowed down their list of possible practical jokes on the United States to two choices: flying planes into buildings, or hiring a clown to spray seltzer water into the camera on one of their terror videos. They apparently unanimously agreed on the plane idea because "Clowns are just plain scary. We didn't want to be cruel."

The last sentence on the video had no need for translation, as "Funnyman" bin Laden, as it seems he is known around Al Qaeda headquarters, spoke it in English: "You've been PUNK'D!"

No word has been officially released from the White House, though some hearty guffaws have been heard from the Oval Office, and the Press Secretary did offer his own personal opininon: "Yeah, I guess they got us good."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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