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Friday, 30 May 2008

image for Sharon Stone reaps the whirlwind in wake of quake
B-movies take on new meaning when they star Sharon Stone.

French fashion house Christian Dio'r Priced says it is dropping mammary-prominent peroxide actress Sharon 'ice pick' Stone from its advertisements after her remarks referring to a recent devastating event as an "earthquake" and its victims as "Chinese".

Stone, who made the remarks last week in the privacy of her own Cannes hotel room and in the company of 500 of her closest friends, was referring to the deaths of more than 68,000 people on and after May 12.

"The Chinese are not being nice to the Obama, and Barack is a friend of mine. And then all of this earthquake and all this happened and I thought, isn't that karma? When you're not so nice, when you're a big meanie, don't bad things happen to you?" Stone said.

The statement drew fire from not-so-nice citizens across the US, government spin doctors and the International Coalition of Big Fat Meanies (ICBFM).

"We have also noticed that Shar-- what's her name, again? The girl with no panties in that movie…what's it called? Sharon Stone... She should do a little more to promote understanding and friendship between nations, and a little less gratuitous on-camera beaver-flashing ," said Qin Gang Bang, spokesman for China's Foreign Ministry.

Stone has since apologized for: her assumptions, her implied racism, her pretense to geological and tectonic knowledge, her poor script choices, and her use of the work "earthquake" in connection with this year's host of the Olympic Games.

Beijing immediately issued a statement indicating that the Games would proceed as scheduled no matter how great the carnage.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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