(Washington, D.C. -- The Pentagon) American military planners, led by the Joint Chiefs of Staff announced early today that American strategy in Afghanistan would change. At a briefing by the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Air Force General Richard B. Myers, they announced that rather than continue to attempt to capture and control the country of Afghanistan, they would instead focus on capturing and controlling Afghan Hounds.
General Myers stressed that this was not an admission of defeat, but rather a different approach to an admittedly difficult problem. "Not a single Afghan Hound will be left on the streets of America when we're through. We'll see how the Taliban likes that!"
A representative of the Taliban now living in Paris, Bahir Funde, seemed puzzled by the switch in tactics.
"It is too stupid to be this stupid. We will have to study this further."