George W Bush expressed his dismay at the 'abysmal failure' of the latest Mars mission.
A White House spokesman said 'We know for a fact that Saddam and Al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden clubbed together to send their weapons of mass destruction to Mars via some form of airborne propulsion system, possibly African Swallows. We are sorely disappointed that NASA has wasted taxpayers money by sending a probe to Mars and not finding any of those weapons or those Swallows.'
A NASA spokesman said "Sadly we concentrated too much on the advancement of science and the understanding of our universe, than on finding flimsy evidence for a phony oil war. I am not a patriot. I don't even deserve to be called American. I think I'll move to France."
The first pictures taken by the Mars Lander appear to show sailors fighting in a dance hall.