Written by Paul Deacon
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Friday, 9 November 2001

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Osama - World's most wanted

Fashion expert John Gaudie has said it is "quite right too" that Osama Bin Laden is the world's most wanted man. "I really want to get my hands on him" he said last night.

Mr Gaudie, 42, told TheSpoof "I still simply can't believe it. It's quite ghastly. I was shocked. And stunned. I mean, he's worth over $200 billion and look how he dresses. I really want to get him out of those sheets and into a nice soft linen suit".

Bin Laden amassed his personal fortune from his family's building business in Saudi Arabia.

"That's as maybe but there's simply no excuse for someone of his wealth to walk around like a tramp" Mr Gaudie added. "After he's going to need a nice suit when he's in court".

The fashion guru promised that if Mr Bin Laden gave himself up he would take him on a tour of "some lovely" West End boutiques next month, assuming they're all still standing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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