Written by Chuck Barber
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Topics: New York, travel

Wednesday, 12 May 2004

Cannibal head-hunters from New Guinea travelled to New York this week searching for more Rockefellers to eat. Expedition leader Yakke, a tribal chieftain who was a boy when his family ate Michael Rockefeller in the 1960s said that he had not had human flesh as tasty as Rockefeller since and hoped to be able to locate a weak or aging Rockefeller whom they might cull from the herd.

Yakke's son Yikke who speaks heavily accented English explained that "the meat not so good since the missionaries scared by the Muslims. Muslims taste like smoke and no Chrisians (sic) anymore." He patted his stomach, "Hungry," he said with a smile.

Rockefeller family spokesman Richard Lawton said the family was aware of the arrival of the head-hunters but had expressed little interest in meeting one of the men who had eaten their cousin so long ago. "I believe the family's opinion is they likely have little in common with Mr. Yakke other than a fondness for Mr. Michael, and that even that fondness is expressed in a somewhat different manner."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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