Rome - (Satanic Mess): Plans to make Pope John Paul II a saint are on a roll just as soon as the Vatican makes the necessary arrangements for the customary drive-by shooting to eradicate the principal witness against him.
Today's announcement follows countless attempts to sanitise the satanic P2 Lodge career of the man who took over the top pontifical job after Mehmet Ali Agca pumped Karol Wojtyla with five rounds of ammo over that 6th century Council of Nicea schism business.
The 'Replicator Pope' was quickly slimed into position by a frantic Cardinal Ratzinger who hastily arranged for Agca's bagman, 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi, to be suicided the following year in London.
Some regretted that hasty decision after NATO military intelligence revealed the shoo-in Pope was a top beneficiary of the pederastic P2 Lodge's services.
In the UK Old Bailey court documents attested to the Replicator's convictions for multiple counts against minors and his subsequent sprinting from Wormwood Scrubs by helful P2 Lodge chums.
The identity of the principal witness against the old codger is shrouded in anonimity but reliable reports state the person now holds the rank and title of Admiral in the Royal Navy.