NATO HQ, Brussels - (Rioters): NATO top brass is launching a worldwide competition for the best George W Bush advance obituary after being inundated with demands for a $25 million ransom to try him for crimes against humanity.
"This way we get to pick the exact terms of his indictment," Field Marshall General Prof V Smart said today.
"It also gives the budding talent out there a chance to get even with this fetid Vatican hitman who took out JFK for 30 pieces of silver."
The competition carries no cash prize or equivalent remuneration.
But NATO is promising an official plaque with the winning obit writer's name and epitaph outside its Brussels HQ "just as soon as the trapdoor opens and the noose swing for the last time," according to reliable sources.
"Anybody can enter, of course," the spokesman added, "except for those darned Spoof! cyberwriters who've been describing his demise for so many years."
Dick Cheney is gagging for air.