Despite not even being in the running, Democratic Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, has claimed victory in the Champions League final, ousting both Chelsea and Manchester United.
Manchester United Boss Alex Ferguson said "Erm...it's a difficult one to take. We have erm..been winning all these erm..games throughout the season and yet she claims a win...erm..she never even won a single game...she erm..wasn't even in the race so to speak."
Hillary was more enthused "I think the result is the correct one. If you judge the winner by such trivial things as how many times they won, then yeah sure it may be a surprise that I am victorious, but if you judge the winner on the real issues such as hairstyles, pant-suits and empty rhetoric then it becomes plain that I am indeed the Champion of Europe."