Written by Jesus Budda
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Wednesday, 21 May 2008

image for Geography Teacher Plot to Bore Students to Death Uncovered
Think how their minds could have been corrupted by Geography...a lucky escape for these children

Teachers at a high school in De Moines, Iowa, had been planning to bore all their pupils to death - by changing schedules so that every class would be a geography lesson - in a revenge attack for the students inability to do their homework.

The ringleader of the bunch was the hugely unpopular Geography teacher, Mr. Charles Atlas, who masterminded every detail including ordering extra supplies of jackets with leather patches on the elbows - which was their intended 'murder uniform' - and textbooks with no pictures, except pie charts of soil erosion facts.

"It's shocking to think that these people in a responsible position - teachers - would attempt something so crazy", said one traumatized pupil, who was skipping class anyway to smoke crack in the toilets, "what a bunch of b*stards".

The orgy of violence was averted when one observant nerdy kid overheard the teachers hatching their idea in the staff room.

"I was passing by on the way to leave an apple on the teachers desk when I heard them whispering loudly to each other", said the kid, "they said it was 'going down' at 11 am and that they would target the kids who didn't hand in their geography assignments on time. They were going to bore us to death by changing class schedules to be all Geography lessons. They were laughing maniacally and drinking coffee. B*stards".

Soon after, Swat teams swooped on the staff room and arrested the group. Two teachers and a grounds keeper were shot and injured while attempting to escape inside a giant hollow globe.

Crime lab investigators discovered dozens of unopened boxes of chalk.

"It looks like they were fully prepared to use every single one of them", said a police source.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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