Osama Bin Laden has today announced to the world that he has been living a lie and that he will be coming out...of his cave in the Afghan mountains.
Bin Laden (real name Bill Lansbury) said he was growing tired of hiding away in the dark, with no food, no water and no comfort. 'The towns of Afghanistan were that bad!' he said. So in 2001 he ran away to find better conditions and found himself tucked away for numerous years in luxurious caves complete with pissing pots.
However Osama has now grown tired of living the Afghan jet set so has decided to return to his family. However problems could linger if he does. When asked whether that was a good idea concerning the Americans trying to hunt him down over the September 11th attacks, Bin Laden replied rather optimistically 'It was a long time ago! I'm sure they look back on it and laugh now. I know I do!'
Also Bin Laden has announced that he is in fact a gay. 'Let the whole world of Islam enjoy GAYNESS!' he concluded to the scene of YMCA and men in cages.