Perth, Australia (Reuters) - Disgraced chair-sniffing Western Australia Liberal Party leader Troy Bustwell is to replace drug detection dogs at Perth airport.
A new study just released by Australia's CSIRO division for Extravagant Claims, Media Releases and Shameless Self Promotion suggests that the olfactory senses of Liberal Party politicians have been enhanced by generations of arse licking.
Domestic dogs are well known for their love of fecal matter and have developed equally acute senses in its pursuit.
After a decade with their snouts in the trough, Australian Conservative politicians have also evolved the unique ability to sniff out benefits well beyond the range of their normal elected tenure.
The ex-foreign minister in the then government of John Howard, Alexander Downer, was renowned for his ability to sniff out lunch appointments. Other ministers could detect self interest to the resolution of one part in one billion dollars.
Customs handlers have yet to fully prevent some drug-detection Liberals from sniffing the crotches of wealthy visiting tourists. Unfortunately, the honorable Wilson Tuckey had to be put down after he repeatedly urinated on Aboriginal elders.
There is little hope that some rabid Liberal conservatives can be trained for this new career as they may represent a hazard to the public.