Hillary Clinton decided that if she isn't going to win the Presidency (Dictatorship) of the USA she will cut off "little Hill" and send it around the world on tour.
"I will have my plastic surgeon remove my tool and people can look at my penis and just think about what they have lost. I put a lot into this race and yes I can put it on a train or a plane or a bus".
Psychiatrists at the Permanent Eunich Narcissist Institute Society will be evaluating Ms. Clinton this week to analyze her strange martyrlike behavior.
PENIS psychiatrist, Dr. Bottle Hairbleach spewed forth this sound byte being shoved down everyone's throat (those stupid enough to watch TV) on American TV constantly, "Of course we would like to prevent everyone copying her so it's best we figure out what is wrong with the person. It's okay if she/he/it does it because she has a billion dollars and is morally bankrupt to begin with but you know how people get when someone they look up to engages in freakish behavior. We still haven't found out why she had one installed in the first place. Or why anyone would look up to her."
A man on the street said, "Wow, she will never go away."
Clinton indicated that she/he/it hopes to regain some of the money she blew trying to get nominated. "Shysters and con artists down the years discovered a long time ago how people's morbid curiosity causes them part with their money like zombies out of a cheap 50s B Movie staggering wherever they are pointed. And being void of ethics, I thought 'Yes I can' capitalize on that fact. Besides, it's all shrively and it puts a horrible lump in my pantsuit anyway." she drunkenly mumbled to reporters down the pub.