Written by Steddyeddy
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Friday, 9 May 2008

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L Ron Hubbard's press agent was unavailable for comment

The Klingon Language Version of the World English Bible has now been on the best selling book list not only on Amazon, but also in PoundStretcher stores nationwide for the past three years.

Selling over 27 copies in the last year alone, it is about to be translated into Welsh, Chav, Scouse (big print and no words of more than four letters of course) and Cockney.

To show how easy it is to understand, an excerpt from the book sees "jaj after jaj chaH pour vo' speech, je ram after ram chaH display Sov" translating as "Day after day they pour forth speech, And night after night they display knowledge" Psalm 19:2, while "baj mit fo' caram a chaH banda re eam nah ito" translates as "You are standing on my oxygen tube" NHS 31:12

The fact that the Klingon version of the bible is selling in such vast quantities could very well explain why Klingon is fast becoming the Universe's largest religion, surpassing the spread to other galaxies of even Christianity, Islam and that rubbish spouted by merchant banker L Ron "Mutha" Hubbard.

Captain Kirk, on the way to boldly going to where no man had been before, said "Beam me up Scotty. Or should I say, do you fancy a Jim Beam Scotty?"

Mr Spock's response was "Captain I don't believe my ears" to which Captain Kirk replied "Spock, I don't believe your ears either!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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