WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Senator John McCain has stated that he is "not losing his bearings at all" since Israeli scientists "are keeping my brain alive" with daily injections of chicken soup and gefilte fish.
Flanked by two Mossad agents here on Friday, the elderly senator lashed out at Barack Obama for implying he was losing his marbles.
"Mossad looks after me and they even wrote this speech for me," revealed the healthy-looking McCain as he squinted at some pages with spectacles.
He also praised the 60th anniversary of the founding of Israel, saying "it was a landmark in land theft and real estate development."
"The ethnic cleansing and land clearances of the racist supremacist Israeli state have set new standards not seen since World War II," McCain said proudly.
"I am happy to serve Israel first and foremost as one of their many American agents, and to fight Israel's wars for them."
McCain also received the endorsement of Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert for US President via a live video broadcast.
Olmert was then led off in handcuffs by Jerusalem police shouting that the bribes he took "were not really bribes." Olmert is the latest in a large number of leaders to fall to corruption charges.
--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire