Written by carina-eta

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Topics: Drugs, heroin

Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for Heroin Users 75% More Likely To Be Successful
Amy denies she's a flake

Figures out today suggest that heroin and crack cocaine users are 75% more likely to achieve success in the creative arts and music industry than non-drugs users.

According to a recent poll, more than 88% of artists hitting the big time in the music industry are regular smackheads, with heroine and crack heading the "must-do" list of A-listers at the MTV music awards. The remaining 12% can be accounted for by Cliff Richards string of number one records.

Meanwhile, in the art world, cannabis features heavily in the top-rated European and U.S.A artworld with most artists expressing gratitude that cannabis will shortly be reclassified as a Class B drug. An anonymous artist who is not Banksy, but simply wishes to remain anonymous for this interview, stated, "Thank God, at last I will be taken seriously as an artist."

The Royal College of Music is said to be looking into ways to increase drug use in the hope of propelling a few instrumentalists into the same highly paid limelight as fellow mentalists such as Amy Winehouse and Keith Richards.

Amy Winehouse is 24 and her latest tattoo reads "Flake loves Blake."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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