Written by shea lo
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Tuesday, 6 May 2008

image for New poll has hair-raising results for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama
is this what a hanging chad feels like?

A late breaking poll has confounded political pundits and analysts alike. Polling in various categories shows that both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are tied in virtually every voting category.

Pollster James Zigzag broke down the results of his polling as follows:

50% of young white men with dark hair = Obama
50% of young black women with blond hair = Clinton
50% of blacks with black hair or no hair = Obama
50% of whites with white hair or no hair = Clinton
50% of Catholics with white hair = Clinton
50% of non-Catholics with black hair = Obama

Also 50% of blacks and whites alike with salt-and-pepper hair remain undecided while 50% of mohawk wearers couldn't care less as they were voting for the white-haired old white guy.

"Things have been getting pretty hairy; we've been tearing our hair out trying to analyze this", said top tv political analysts.

Obama's campaign has baldly asserted that this translates into a win for their candidate having parted ways with Clinton on the gas tax holiday.

Meanwhile Hillary Clinton's campaign says, "Things have begun to gel for us. Combing through poll results, our internal polling shows you can't just brush away these numbers.

On the eve of the Indiana and North Carolina primaries superdelegates are finding this an incredibly hair-raising experience, enough to make their toes curl as they try to lock in their votes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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