Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 6 May 2008

image for China Too Overpopulated, Too Powerful, Too Chinese, Say Enemies
Only God knows what would happen if this Chinaman fell off the bench

There are far too many people living in China, the Chinese government is too powerful, and the country is threatening to take over the whole world, say its enemies.

Official figures show that 1 in 5 people live in China, which means that, as you walk down the street, every fifth person you come across is Chinese, or else lives in China - a worrying thought - particularly if you find them a bit spooky.

Human Rights campaigners worry that China has too much control over its own residents and will, in the near future, repress the rest of the world as well.

The Chinese government has already shown its power in the past when, in 1987, it threatened to have every Chinese person jump off a 12-inch-high bench in order to dislodge the Earth from its axis. It stood down at the 11th hour, but the threat has remained ever since.

Chinese Repression Minister Liu Ping spoke to Olympic delegates yesterday with just 93 days to go to the opening ceremony of the Beijing Games. Denouncing criticism of China's Human Rights record, he said:

"You lot make problem, I tell everybody jump off bench!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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