Written by Tragic Rabbit
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Friday, 2 May 2008

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A gay Yorkshire man has been charged with murder in the accidental eating death of a free-range man he picked up for dinner.

The naked body of Chick Leghorn, 23, was found following remarks the suspect made at a local takeout restaurant.

Police said that part of Leghorn's right wing had been cut out and pieces of diced dark meat were discovered in a stewpot on the cooker, with a bottle of Bellingham Merlot Malbec airing nearby.

Forensic tests on the meat showed it to be Grade A.

Investigators say they do not know how much was eaten before they arrived.

Hannibal Lector Jones, 35, is in jail awaiting trial.

Police say they do not know how the two men met and have appealed to the gay food service industry for help.

Managers of several local five-star restaurants say they are shocked at Jones' arrest, though they universally approve his wine selection.

This is not the first time a gay gourmet has been arrested for playing with his food, though all the previous instances involved Germans.

Armin Meiwes is the most famous, now in prison for devouring a close friend's sautéed penis and testicles with some fava beans and nice Chianti.

They met through an internet bulletin board where gay men reportedly sought quiet dinner dates.

"If you are between 18 and 25 years old you are my boy. Come to me and I eat your horny flesh" Meiwes' ad said in 2001.

The other white meat.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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