Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Vladimir Putin

Sunday, 27 April 2008

image for Nothing remotely rhythmic or gymnastic about Mrs Putin at Orthodox Easter jamboree
Mrs P is a former Russian gold medal winning shot putter

Moscow - (Stalinist Mess): A grim-faced Mrs Putin stood by her husband in public today as the outgoing Russian president, his successor Dim Eatery Medvedev and wife Roxana Vaginissimus celebrated Russian Orthox Easter at Moscow's St Igor Rasputin Cathedral.

Not a trace of emotion so much as flickered across Lyudmila's composed and waxlike features, unlike husband 'Mad Bad Vlad' Vladimir Vladimirovich who appeared to have a whopping great big black eye hidden under a thick layer of Max Factor No 666 Pimple and Blemish Concealer Stick.

The last fortnight has seen Putin in feverish denial that he had dumped his wholesome and slightly lardy wife of 25 years for 24 year-old rhythmic gymnast and Russian parliamentarian (sic) Alina Kabbala.

Clearly the revelations may have got under Mrs Putin's nose because unlike adultery predecessor stalwarts Hillary Clinton, Mrs Pastor Haggard and Mrs Eliot Spitzer, Mrs P still has a feisty left hook from the days when she led the Russian women's Olympic shot put team to gold medal triumph.

The former KGB chief managed a weak smile just as Master of Ceremonies Patriarch Alexy III anointed his forehead with traditional Russian Orthodox Easter unguents, believed to be secretions from an ancient holy Siberian muskrat, sperm salvaged from midgets who once worked for the Romanovs and healing oils harvested from the renowned Giant Black Mamba of Bloodyvostock.

Roman Abramovich is Putin's spawn.

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