Following hot on the heels of their three existing children - Stannah Stairlift, Ahhthats Bisto and Purple Haze - David and Victoria Beckham have indicated that another heir to the fortune may be on the way.
Lord Beckham takes up the story:
"I had a chat with Victoria, and we decided that, yea, it might be nice to have another child. We have loads and loads of bedrooms, innit, and it seems a shame not to use them. Also, I love the pitter patter of Cuban Nannies' feet. We use Cuban oil in our car - Castro GTX I think it's called.
"Anyway. The main problem is that we have both forgotten what you do to have a child. We lost the recipe. Victoria said it was summit like me lying on her naked, but she's so thin I don't think that's right. I might end up breaking her. And why I'd want to lie naked on her when I could be running around a field with my shirt over my head, or getting another stupid tattoo! Eh! Innit? I ask you!
"I did get a copy of "Shagging for Dummies" from Borders, which someone told me was a bookshop, but the words are so big and long, innit? And Purple Haze has lost his crayons so I can't really read it proper.
I might just ask Common as Sh*t Spice for advice when she comes round next week, or may even even phone Joan Rivers. Innit?