Frankfurt-am-Main - (Rotters): A German artist has promised Queen Elizabeth's relatives five trillion euro if they agree to arrange for her to spend her dying hours in his Dusseldorf art gallery.
Adolf Von Himmler-Hockney says it would be good for national morale if members of the public can see the old soak splutter her last dying breath in a Turner Prize-themed custom-built auditorium with a strong resemblance to a Zyklon-B gas chamber.
"Ja, I am fascinated by the grisly old coot," Von Himmler-Hockney said today.
"And after she is dead I think we pickle her in formaldehyde - like those amusing sheep at the Saatchi Gallery."
The artist has hired a psychopathologist and a body plastination art collector to lobby the House of the Puppet Monarch into a speedy decision.
"The relatives' decision is vital," the artist said.
"There must be billions out there just dying to watch the death in an appropriately historical atmosphere."
Camilla is 69.