Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: Sex, Names, Family, cunt

Thursday, 24 April 2008

image for Family of Kuntz Reunited
Look at those happy, smiling Kuntz

A family has been reunited after the chance answering of a letter printed in an Idaho newspaper.

Johnny Kuntz, a mailman from New York posted a letter in the personals section of the Boise Gazette last year with the aim of locating a sexy, single lady with a good sense of humor and a fetish for ass sniffing.

Little did he expect to locate his long-lost grandmother, her extended family and a cat.

"I was sick and tired of all the New Yorker chicks", said Johnny today, "I wanted something exotic and different - so I tried Boise, Idaho. I said, hey, those dungaree-wearing babes are bound to be into some kinky sh*t!".

A few weeks after the advert appeared, Johnny started getting some replies from one particularly affectionate lady.

"It was amazing. She was into the same crap as me - right down to anal fixation", said Johnny, "little did I know that it would turn out to me my old granny!"

Grandma Kuntz had been missing presumed dead after a drag-car racing accident while Johnny was still a boy. As it turns out, she faked the whole thing so that she could start afresh in Idaho where she re-married a German man named 'Fuching'.

"I became a Mrs. Fuching-Kuntz", said the old lady, "I almost married someone called 'Cocksucker'. That would have been unfortunate. I am glad to be reunited with my grandson Johnny. He's a good boy."

All the tribe are getting together later in the year to celebrate a black satanic mass together in the woods outside Boise.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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