Written by Chuck Barber
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Thursday, 6 May 2004

image for North Korea Admits It Has Nuclear Weapons
Kim Jong Il waves to Atomic Bomb

Admitting the truth, finally, after decades of denials, North Korea acknowledged its Nuclear Program has succeeded in producing a working 1/37th Kiloton Atomic Bomb.

The bomb - a particularly ‘dirty' radioactive device made from radium mined from discarded watches - is large enough to destroy part of a medium sized city.

Small and highly unstable, bombs of this manufacture are "susceptible to changes in ‘G' forces and thus cannot reliably be delivered via rocket or airplane," so said Jane's nuclear device expert, Howell Curtis. "Frankly, no one saw this coming. The entire society is a cipher. In the end, one must wonder if this is a bluff. I find it hard to imagine North Korea - a country which cannot begin to feed itself - has produced an accurate model, much less a working prototype. Finally, I'm most curious about the delivery system envisioned."

North Korean spokesman, Lee Park Chee speaking at the Science University of the Great Leader, in Pyongyang said, "We have joined the nuclear war age, finally. We must now be taken seriously." In response to scepticism over their bomb he elaborated, "anywhere we can drive we can deliver ultimate destruction."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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