Moscow - (Lurid Mess): Russian President Vladimir Putin has dumped his wife for a 24 year old Gazprom-chartered slippery slapper called Oleaginous Olga Volga-Volga.
"Ha ha ha, that's pretty funny," a former KGB pal commented today, "because as everybody in the old Lublianka firm knows Mad Bad Vlad is gay, gay, gay!"
However, according to Kremlin insiders Vlad and Olga have been at it 'hammer and sickle' if not exactly hammer and tongs - or even hammer and tongues - ever since the flexible rhythmic gymnast (sic) seduced the daftass 56 year old in the back of the Presidential Zil at last year's Hitlersbad G8 Summit in Germany.
State-run tabloid Pravda has described Putin as a 'classic Dr Zhivago-style Russian romantic.'
But many readers think this is Russian weasel-speak for a miserable, philandering, spouse-slagging adulterer whose wife of 25 years is said to be sick to death of the sight of him anyway.
Ms Volga-Volga will be accompanying Putin to the Beijing Olympiad opening ceremony this summer.
Sporting sources say a done deal with the Chinese has ensured that the outgoing Russian president will have a premier tier ringside seat at the Games.
"It's the ultimate in one-upmanship over soundbite rival Nicholas Sarkozy," a Kremlin spokesman said today, "whose own recent marriage to a younger woman has been ogled by moronic TV audiences the world over."
Ludmilla Putin is 69.