Pope Benedict XVI has come down with a rare disease which affects the immune system. The symptoms are more severe than AIDS because he can never have contact with another human again.
Dr. Andreas Verducci, the official Vatican doctor, said that there is no known cause on how the disease is contracted. He added that the Pope would have to be confined to a sterilized plastic bubble and avoid body contact at all costs.
The College of Cardinals is at a crossroads. They have a living Pope who can no longer perform papal duties and they cannot pick his successor until after Pope Benedict has died. To make matters worse, they open the college football season at Notre Dame, where they have never won.