Pope Benedict, the former Cardinal No, on the Vatican private jet bound for Bush City, told reporters that he has suffered greatly because of the pedophilia scandal during his reign as Cardinal of the Holy Inquisition and Victim of Christ on earth. He then went on to detail how much the Church has suffered during the "filthy" acts of Roman Catholic priests against children.
The terrible scourge of lawsuits which have robbed the Church of its coffers of gold became Pope Benedict's next eulogy. When asked why he had not mentioned the suffering of the victims, the former Hitler Youth and member of the Nazi army paused for a really long time.
Finally Papa Zinger managed a response: "I must admit that I hadn't really thought about their pain. When you are the Vicar of Christ of the one true Church sometimes the little people kind of, well, disappear..."