Written by Mose St. Schrute
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Topics: Hitler

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

In a shocking move yesterday, psychics and mediums worldwide proclaimed that Adolf Hitler has expressed wishes to be reborn - as a Newfoundlander.

This controversial move by Hitler has been regarded as the most recent in a slew of bad ideas of his. Hitler, best known for his rule over Germany in World War II, has repeatedly ignited controversy over his radical actions.

Mediums claim that Hitler has convened with the Prince of Darkness and will be willing released from Hell [in related Hell news, the conversion to a democracy is going well]. As he is well aware of the ramifications of his prior actions, he has offered to resurrect George Harrison and John Lennon as well, and claims to have permission for that.

One highlight of the transmission is Hitler's expression of regret. He allegedly stated he was 'sorry, I did make some bad decisions, yes. Really was a bad general idea, didn't work out.' This appears to go against Hitler's classical portrayal in the media, and may hint toward a government cover-up.

The Canadian government is especially angry, stating that Newfies will receive additional bias for the fact that any one of them might be Hitler. Danny Williams has issued one of his standard releases in response to this, though it was directed at 'Steve' Harper [as usual], and not UN leaders or the Devil.

More on this story as it progresses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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