Written by Lampros
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Topics: Olympics, Security

Thursday, 6 May 2004

image for Athens Olympics 2004. Security concerns mount as Greek taxi gets flat tyre
Flat tyre sparks security alert in Athens Olympic Stadium

The flat tyre drew reaction from governments around the globe, sporting bodies and athletes around the world. One diplomat based in Athens said that until proven otherwise, it would be premature to link the flat tyre with Al Qaida. The head of the Australian Olympic Committee, Trevor Pickle, said it was possible some individual athletes might pull out. "In these volatile times, a flat tyre in an Olympic city is food for thought. Of course the choice of withdrawal, or not, lies completely on individual athletes".

Coming exactly 100 days before the start of the games, the Greek PM tried to play down the flat tyre's significance to his EU and US counterparts, blaming the attack on pure bad luck. "For God's sake" said an exaggerated Greek PM. "Give us a break, it was only a Goddam flat f**k tyre. I mean, of the 30 Olympic stadiums, 12 are 100% ready, 13 are 97% ready and 5 are more than 90% ready. The Roof of the Olympic stadium for which you've given us such a hard time will slide to position in 10 days. Please could someone say something positive for A CHANGE?" the Greek PM begged.

An outraged US Defence Secretary called an emergency meeting to announce a military intervention in Greece following the news of the taxi's flat tyre "The Greeks will have to pay a dear price for this AND their genocide against the Trojans in 1400 B.C.. The Trojan Horse was really a code name for WMD. We opt for regime change to secure the safe conduct of the Olympic Games and bring the country under the NATO umbrella " said Mr Rumsfeld. When a reported informed the Def.Secretary that Greece has been a NATO member for the past 50 years Mr Rumsfeld replied: " Really? OK. No need for intervention then. At the end of the day the only kind of oil these guys produce is olive oil. Who gives a t**ss about them?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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