At last, Big Ben is to finally get a £500,000 facelift and is to go digital just in time for the New Year celebrations.
Visitors to London, who flock in their millions to see a enormous CLOCK, will be met with a far more up-to-date timepiece.
Big Ben will have 4 state-of-the-art digital screens and will be just like any sports watch. A novel idea for TV fanatics is that the screens will be able to show Sky sports, Sky news, Setanta and Eastenders on it's hi-tech screens.
Although the cost was initially to be met by the taxpayer, plans are afoot to have sponsorship on the structure, and adverts will appear at 5 second intervals on the screens.
Visitors will also get LIVE feeds of the really exciting Prime Minister's Questions, and at New Year there will be fireworks and explosions.
Steven Spielberg will use the screens to air his next blockbuster.
Prime Minister Gordy said, "The old workings are to be sold off to the Chinese to stop the annoying fuckers from coming over here and asking everyone to take photo's"