BBC World TV autocue reader, Keith Gowing, has called for the investigation into the death of Princess Diana to be reopened.
Speaking before an assembled hierachy of BBC editorial staff Keith said that his claim to fame of announcing the death of the Princess to his waiting audience of security guards worldwide had been unfairly challenged by a tap dancer from Lesotho: "I attempted to interrogate the imposter live on air but he refused to answer. The claim that my question was so long-winded that he actually died on air is unfair."
Responding to allegations that the interviewee was of French descent and therefore unable to even understand the question drew a sharp response from Mr Gowing: "This is simply preposterous. I said bonjour at the start of the interview. How much of a foreign language does one need to know? Besides, doesn't he know how important I am?"
Speaking exclusively to this reporter Mr Gowing revealed that he is currently suing his local newsagent. "He had the audacity to introduce me to schoolboy buying a comic as Mr Gowing, a BBC presenter instead of the BBC's Main Presenter. After all if Jesus hadn't made clear he was the son of God when he was around then were would be Christianity?"
Mr Gowing is also considering suing his Doctor for a breach of free speech for restricting him to answering Ahh when asked to poke out his tongue.