Written by Susan Davis
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Topics: Nobel Prize

Monday, 14 April 2008

It has been announced that a panel of judges are awaiting nominations for "The most innocent person on earth". The winner is going to be announced at a gala function, to be held on the 1st of April 2009, that will rival the Oscar ceremonies.

To date there are five nominees, the first being ex-President of the United states, Bill Clinton.

Although he could not strictly be said to be completely innocent since he has been caught out on a whopper or two, the argument goes that there are so many things that he has done that have not attracted attention, and therefore did not have to tell whoppers about it, that he might just about qualify to be the most innocent person on earth.

President Bush's nomination has been cancelled, on the grounds that he is not responsible for what he is saying and that his script-writer should rather be nominated. It was then decided to sift through Pres. Bush's prepared scripts to find the writer who was responsible for the President's speech where he stated that there were definitely Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, because that would surely make him the most innocent person who never caused a war.

Clarence Mitchell's nomination was accepted because, although he spoke on behalf of the innocent Drr McCann, he is completely innocent of ever bending the truth on their behalf. The Drr McCann were of course also nominated, but the panel could not decide which of them is the most innocent, and are still debating if one or both of them should go through to the final nominations.

Dr Mugabe looks like the front-runner for the prize at the moment, because anybody who is innocent of causing that much suffering to a whole nation is surely the most innocent person on earth. The last of the five nominations is for a certain Mafia boss who has warned that his name must never be mentioned even though HE is the most innocent person on earth.

Please send in your nominations for this memorable prize, there is still time, and the person you have nominated might just walk away with this greatest prize on earth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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