Written by mpershin
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Topics: Greenpeace, Japanese

Monday, 14 April 2008

image for Japanese Miss Whaling Target - Greenpeace Fetor Blamed

Greenpeace has succeeded in ensuring the Japanese whaling fleet's total catch was below quota.

Fisheries authorities confirmed that only 60% of the quota of 850 minke whales had been caught by the Japanese whaling fleet around the Antarctic, with the whalers blaming Greenpeace disruptions for this shortfall.

"That Sea Shepherd full of those greenie sheep was nothing but trouble. Their lack of showering and other basic hygiene was enough to scare the whales away from our nets - they could smell the stench of their body odour a mile away." exclaimed an angry Japanese whaler. Greenpeace were thrilled at the outcome, albeit through their unorthodox methods.

"Our initial aim was to scare them by yelling at them in English and waving green flags, however we soon realized that they did not understand anything we said and our efforts were futile, so we brought out the only weapon that crosses all lingual borders - hippie funk!" Sebastien affirmed from the deck of the Sea Shepherd.

The Department of Whaling (DOW) based in Tokyo reported they would only try harder next time, and come prepared for this funky attack. "We have shredded old vintage shirts frequently worn by Greenpeace members and mixed it in with whale feed, thus desensitizing the whales to such odours for future expeditions." announced the president of DOW, Ashimi Suzuki.

No minke whale representatives were available for comment at this time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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