Written by BCon
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Topics: Kids, Education, genius

Sunday, 13 April 2008

image for Internationally Renowned Child Prodigy Slacks Off
Little Nicholas reverting to childhood play.

Four-year-old only-child Nicholas Fortworth (not his real name due to his status as a minor) has shocked the international Childhood Talented and Gifted community by slacking off. It seems he has opted to intake Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine DVDs instead of spending time in his home basement nanotech lab.

His parents are both bewildered and quite frankly, disgusted, by his common behavior.

Now, instead of careful examination, analysis and theorizing, he picks his boogers solely for the fun of it.

When asked by his Ancient Instruments instructor why he has preferred to play with other children at the playground over practicing his lyre or his panpipes as of late, Nicholas replied "You're a poop head" and threatened to use his superhero powers to make the tutor's legs fall off.

He no longer orders his meals in French at Chez La Seine. Nicolas has resorted to tantrums until he is given chicken fingers. Ironically, he no longer insists that chickens don't have fingers in that obnoxious way he used to only a month ago, when his "average" 3-year cousin Leona insisted that they do.

His parents have started to sleep in the same bed again in the hopes of another opportunity to not only recreate, but sustain, their initial success with Nicholas. Preparations are underway for an infant-friendly home astronomy observatory. Nicholas has been moved to the small guest room and his bedroom will be repurposed as a combination Classics Literature library/International Economics study/breastfeeding space.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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