Written by Unconfirmed Source
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Topics: Debate, Report

Wednesday, 5 May 2004

image for "Flyin' Log" Controversy Rages!
The Flyin' Log

Unconfirmed Sources report that the Flyin' Log controversy shows no sign of fading from the worlds' attention. The world-wide dilemma of what to do with the Flyin' Log has brought debate on all other issues to a halt. The UN has been in session around the clock trying to figure out what to do about the Flyin' Log.

The Flyin' Log was first discovered in the fall of 2003 when a home owner returned from a family vacation. "I looked up and said 'Shit! What the hell happened to my frickin' tree?!' It's hard to believe it now, but I didn't even notice the Flyin' Log till my boy said 'Daddy! Look! A Flyin' Log. We've been on a roller coaster ever since. I'm getting a little tired of it really, but meeting the President and Head of the UN sure was cool. I just wish the TV trucks would pull off my front lawn they are killing my grass."

The UN is debating two different resolutions concerning the Flyin' Log, but neither one has gained the support to defeat the other. The first resolution would make the property surrounding the Flyin' Log a World Heritage Site to allow the people of the world a chance to see the Flyin' Log. The other resolution would remove the Flyin' Log from its surroundings and place it in a purpose built building on the grounds of the UN in New York.

"The "flying log" is too important to be left where it is." said the Finnish ambassador to the UN. "We can't just leave something that important where it is. What would happen if it fell down or termites got to it? It's too much of a risk we must save the Flyin' Log."

The Flyin' Log has even become a hotly debated issue in the presidential election of the United States. Both sides have made statements to the media outlining their positions.

Mr Bush stated "You call that a log? Only a left wing patrician democratic wimp would call that a log! That my friends are a stick and anybody who says different is anti-American and probably a terrorist. Our position on the Flyin' Log is clear we want to give it a tax cut to stimulate the economy."

John Kerry, democratic candidate for president, issued a more measured response. "The Flyin' Log is an important issue facing America and the world. We need to form a world-wide consensus about what to do with the Flyin' Log before we act. I think the Flyin' Log can be a symbol of hope, a symbol what we stand for as a people."

At the moment the area around the Flyin' Log is being protected by local law enforcement until a consensus can be reached about what to do with it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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