Written by Chimbumu
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Topics: Zimbabwe

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

After a long wait, the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission, ZEC, has broken the silence and explained the challenges it was facing in announcing the results of the March 29th synchronized elections.

In a statement to the public, the ZEC chairman presented the difficulty of announcing a negative result to a contestant who was wielding a baton stick over your head.

"It is very difficult to say who the winner is when both key contestant are looking over your shoulder and showing their potential to strike you over the head should the result prove unfavorable to them," he said.

Contrary to his boss' remarks, another chief election officer's answer to the question of whether fear of retribution was their reason for holding back the result Mr. Silaigwana said, "We are an independent body and are not afraid of anyone. When this job is done, we shall go to Mr. Mugabe to receive our salaries and extra benefits for a job well done."

Comment from Mr. Mugabe or any of his aides was not forthcoming though in a separate incident Mr. G. Charamba, the press secretary of the ZANU PF government assured the nation that ZEC was an organ of the state and as such had a duty to serve the nation as instructed by the President.

After all the tongue chewing, the results of the elections are still not announced although the word on the ground is that their announcement is meant to coincide with the independence celebrations on the 18th of April so that as the nation celebrates its independence from colonial rule, it ushers in its new leader.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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