Madonna, the aging Queen of Pop, has announced that she will be flying to Zimbabwe next week in an effort to resolve the ongoing difficulties with the elections in the African country.
The Spoof is banned from Zimbabwe, so this report has been sent from Hull Central Library, where restrictions do not exist.
Madonna, who adopts little black kids for a hobby, first heard about the problems in Zimbabwe whilst watching the BBC News last week, and immediately told her husband Guy Ritchie she "had work to do". She went to the bedroom to pack her things, and it is expected that she will be ready to fly out next Thursday.
Friends of the pop star are concerned though. One regular at her local pub in Wiltshire, the The Swinging Cock, thinks Madonna has misunderstood the problem in Zimbabwe. She said:
"She believes she is going to sort out a problem with black erections."