In an unusual political statement, the Pope today praised General Petraeus' non-withdrawal policy in Iraq as a victory for the Vatican and a blow to birth control users worldwide.
"I never really liked the withdrawal method anyway', stated the Pope, "It's messy and sometimes the sheets get stained".
Hilda Weinhausen, Vatican headlaundress, wholeheartedly agreed. "With 37 bedrooms to clean, I don't want to have to keep going in and out, in and out of all the rooms. Once a night per room is sufficient. The Pope tries to be immaculate. Especially when it comes to conception".
The Pope has issued an invitation to General Petraeus for a Vatican meeting, to praise him personally after the summer non-troop withdrawal occurs.