Zimbabwe / South African Border: In a bizarre twist to the already shambolic Zimbabwe elections, the Zimbabwe Election Commission (ZEC) have announced the real reason for the delay in declaring the recent presidential vote.
"The results were just totally weird - we couldn't explain them" said a senior ZEC official. "We needed help interpreting them so sent our most senior analyst to London with the only copy. Unfortunately, he flew into Heathrow's Terminal 5 and that's the last we saw of both him and the election results."
Until now, it was widely assumed that President Robert Mugabe has been spending the better part of the last two weeks in a small darkened room, with a bunch of his most trusted advisors, trying to figure out how he managed to lose an election which he rigged.
Meanwhile, a group of independent election observers have arrived safely back at their headquarters in Langley, Virginia…