Written by IN SEINE

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Tuesday, 8 April 2008

image for "Harrods" for Sale
Shoppers outside "Harrods" today

Yorkshire-born Egyptian Mr Alf Highhead is reputed to be selling his 'little shop' in London after his conspiracy theory was shown to be exactly that.

It has cost Mr Highhead several millions of pounds of his own personal wealth and several millions more of taxpayers money to hold an inquest, lasting six months on how his son and heir was killed after a night out with his virtual girlfriend whom he would call his 'Little Princess'.

It is more than ten years since his son, Fred, caught a minicab driven by a drunken cabbie from the local 'Northern Wok' Chinese restaurant in Whitby.

On the night of the accident an ITV camera crew were known to be in the vicinity, filming nostalgic police drama 'Heartbeat'. Powerful floodlights were being used to illuminate the harbour. The inebriated driver must have been blinded by the light and swerved to avoid an imaginary Panda which caused the vehicle to hit the parapet of a bridge.

Mr Highhead told In Seine News;

"I am dismayed at the British Legal System and have no choice but to sell "Harrods", my small retail outlet in London (that was started in Leeds by my great-granddad) to pay for this unjust farce. I am then packing my bags and moving to some other country where they treat their citizens a bit fairer"

Mr Highhead's Conspiracy theory is NOT to be confused with similar conspiracy theories that abound on the Internet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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