The Chinese government is a wee bit upset over the protests of the Olympic Torch relay in London, Paris and soon to be San Francisco. They want to put a stop to the bad publicity immediately.
Chinese Olympic Committee spokesperson XiXi (aka Pot Sticker) says "We are tired of these people trying to put out our flame. We are a kind nation, a compassionate nation but the limits to our patience have been reached.
"We are going to set a Tibetan Monk afire and be done with it. I would like to see the protesters put that one out quickly.
"We are doing the monk a favor because he will be immediately going on to one of his next lives while we will be going on to our next round of profits.
"It's a win win situation for all. Let the games begin!"